This is not an invention by vulnerable brides! Psychologists noted that apathy, low mood, and a feeling of hopelessness after the wedding are common. For example, in 2016, Professors Laura Stafford and Alison Scott Gordon found that half of the women surveyed had a lack of energy after their wedding day, and some even showed signs of clinical depression. Yes, these negative emotions are not exactly what you expect to feel after the wedding, but this mental state does not last long and, generally, goes away on its own. And if you’re already aware of it, then you will not be afraid if you suddenly experience it.
Remember that "post-wedding depression" is not a diagnosis, but simply an explanation for a common condition that often occurs after the celebration. In contrast, depression is a mental disorder that requires professional help.
How does it feel?
Some examples include: apathy, boredom, a feeling that something important has ended in life, and existence is now lacking purpose. You may feel nostalgia for when you were dating, just getting to know each other, or getting ready for the wedding together. Quite often the feeling of guilt joins in - from the fact that instead of enjoying your new life, you feel dissatisfied with life and complain about things.
Why does this happen?
There can be a lot of reasons, some people may only have one, some may have a few. If you become aware of them, it will already be easier for you to manage. You will realize that you are not experiencing anything "wrong" and that there is a reason behind your emotions.
- you find it difficult to get used to the fact that you are no longer the center of attention - with friends, relatives, or a wedding planner;
- it is unpleasant for you to return to your routine with unresolved problems that you did not deal with during the pre-wedding tasks;
- there is no longer an important and pleasant feeling that unites you with your husband;
- the sweet feeling of celebration has disappeared and there is nothing more to look forward to.
Other reasons were suggested by one of the authors of the study of "wedding depression", Laura Stafford, in a conversation with the New York Times:
«These women were the center of attention, and planning a wedding takes up so much of your time, it would be weird to not feel some kind of let down,” Ms. Stafford said. “We also found there was more focus on the wedding than on the marriage. There was also uncertainty about their goals, their role as a wife, their relationship and partner choice».
What can you do about it?
Live those emotions and don't hide them. Remember that you are entitled to feel them, and you do not have to pretend to be happy.
- Talk to your husband about your feelings - men often experience something similar, especially if they were actively involved in the wedding preparation.
- Talk to married friends, find out about their feelings after the wedding.
- If you really want to feel the celebrations again, slowly start planning something new: a birthday party, New Year's Eve, or just a beautiful dinner for two.
- If the wedding theme “does not let you go”, you can help your friend in organizing their celebration or even attend courses on wedding planning - who knows, your interest may grow into a new profession.
- If you are depressed that life seems to have lost its meaning, then set yourself a goal that would “ignite” you - be it a big purchase, a new work project, or a trip to a special place.
- If unpleasant emotions persist, seek help from a psychologist.